Even Better

This one is even better.

Coastal Crew Ep.1 – Saturday Video – Pinkbike.com.

I can’t get the video to show up here.  (Hey ””  the apostrophe key works!”””)  But you should click and watch it.

I’ve got a new word game that I’m bringing to all of you in the UK.  Study your scrabble dictionaries.

Awesome video

Canada

Apologies in advance for the lack of apostrophes.  The key does not work.

This is Canada so far:

• Home-made beef jerkey.

• Massive attacks of hayfever.  I am allergic to my homeland.  And to my cat, dammit.

• Running in to at least six people who recognize you in the street if you go in to town.

• Picking up young hitch-hiking boys who say things like:                “Man, the cops in Ladysmith are nice, like way nicer than in Nanaimo.  They call me by name even like, “Hey, Brett!”  And theyll give me a ride home.  But they drop me off a couple blocks away cause my Dad dont like the cops…              Hey, look at that baby, woah, Im sure glad I dont have any kids.  Theyll change you though.  Well, some people.  Not my sisters kids dad though.  She was 14 and he was 19, but he was no good to her.  She left him though and now shes got a real nice guy.  He doesnt even steal or nothing…                 Well, I was just cleaning out my grandmas chicken coop…

• Really tall trees.  Im a bit surprised.

• Drivers license obtained.  The guy at the desk was someone who recognized me from high-school.  He was on hold for half a hour, trying to figure out why he couldnt renew my license.  He showed me how to print and write his name in Cyrillic.  And then I had to sign a tenancy agreement with my parents to scam the system and prove that I am a resident of this country.  Which I am for the next week.

• One bite of an A&W teen burger from the drive-through at the Husky station on the reserve.  (While riding in my brothers white pick-up and listening to Rock 101.1 FM.)

• A giant Inukshuk built of stone-effect painted foam blocks, sporting the Olympic rings and crying out for an act of vandalism or a  sign saying  “Give us back our land”

• Bowling soon.



I think probably purple

Finlay   – Some people think God’s red.  Some people think that He isn’t red.  What do you think, Jackson?

Jackson   – I think both.  God won’t mind.

Ever since that time I got deported…

I think I’m going back to Canada on Monday.  Just for a week. 

I applied online for a provisional driver’s license today.  Cost £50.  So they sent me a link to the application form, which I have to print out and post with my passport and some photos and other ID.  The printer here is broken, so I walked to the Library in Lordship Lane.  The link they sent me didn’t actually allow me to get to my application forms, so I sent a polite complaint to the “broken links” department of the DVLA website. 

Then I looked in to flights home.  If I get my Canadian license renewed, I can’t technically use it in Britain because I’ve been a resident here for over 12 months now.  I can exchange it for a British one, but that only allows me to drive vehicles with an automatic transmission, and not manual. 

But elsewhere in Europe, I can drive.  That’s what’s important if you want to get from Callais to Ruse.

Frankie and I may need a chauffeur to Dover, but on the other side of the Channel, I’ll be licensed to drive a flaming amubulance in any direction we choose.  And we choose East, baby.

Ever since that time I got deported, I have deep feelings of distrust in these people, whoever they are.

“Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.”

So if you’re on Vancouver Island and reading this, get in touch!

That Guy with the Moustache

Had a dream about Bulgaria.  It was real nice.

Then I had a dream that people kept mentioning that I kinda reminded them of Hitler. 

 - Hey.  You know, you sorta remind me of someone…  That guy…  Umm… Short…  You know the one…  uhhh…  you know the one…  ahh…  Hitler!  Yeah.  Hitler.”

I found this a bit surprising until I looked in a mirror and noticed that I was wearing a Hitler moustache.

Have been working on finding people to use our lovely Barn and camp in our pretty field in Voditsa.

www.venuesinvoditsa.com

Know anyone who’s got a group of some sort who might like to all come out to Voditsa for a nice time?  Let them know that you’ve found the perfect place.  They’ll thank you.

I’m actually starting to annoy myself.  All I think about or talk about is Bulgaria.  I’m very excited for this summer.  Like I can’t wait.  I just wanna make money, get a license to drive, and haul ass out of here as soon as Patti Smith leaves the stage at the Oran-Mor.

Hey, Colin.  I think that Mackintosh might eat more meat than even you do.  A lot of sausages.  But you’ve got better taste in music, so you’re still my favorite little brother.

DIE IN DEVON

They’re back from Devon.

Me – Finlay, did you have a sleep over?

F – Yeah, with BEN!

Me – Excellent.  And Jackson, did you have a sleepover?

J – Umm…  yeah.  With Gilbert.

Me – Was it good to see Gilbert?

J – Yeah.  He lives in Devon now.  But he’ not dead.

Me – That’s good.

F – And Ben lives in Devon.

J – No.  He doesn’t.

F – He does.

J – No.

Me – He does live in Devon.

J – No.  Ben doesn’t live in Devon.  He lives in the future.

(I remember once being on a beach in Devon with these boys running up and down shouting “DIE IN DEVON! DIE IN DEVON! DIE IN DEVON!” for most of the afternoon)

Vvvrrrrrrooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

So here’s some good news.  The Ambulance is a Ford ambulance.  And once it’s fixed enough to pass its MOT, it’s thought by some to be an ambulance that could handle a drive accross Europe.  London to Pyce (Rousse) is 2, 796 km.  That’s 31 hours.  That’s England, France, Belgium, Germany, Austria, Hungary, Serbia, and Bulgaria.  

Vrooooom Vrooom.  Vvrrroooooomm.  Vvrooom.  Vrooom.  Vvrrrooommmmmmmm.

The lefties fed me lamb

I got on the bus to london.  Then I got back off and stayed in Brighton.

The lefties fed me lamb.

News from the Fort-Den

We’ve got a project.

It has a name.

That name is Shark Roar.

Lock up your daughters.